I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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