The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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