This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I love you.
Bad choice
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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