i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
