guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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