Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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