weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
