the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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