Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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