im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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