I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
