Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
