the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
