Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
