I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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