yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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