What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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