Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize