how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Operation Purity has been aborted
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
