so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
