So drunk, too bad you don't want this
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
