And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You ruined the universe
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
