We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
