ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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