Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
