he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
