...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
All I want is dick and wine.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
