I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize