I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
