In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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