I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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