is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I know her cup size but not her name....
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