STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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