So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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