So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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