So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
