Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
