WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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