so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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