so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
