I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
