oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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