no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize