She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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