singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
