as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
