So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
