Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
