Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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