Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
