yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
