If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
