he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Randomize
