never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
