Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You were trust falling into bushes
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize