know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
