NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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