i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
