Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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