You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize