help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
