So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You need Xanax blowdarts
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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