i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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