Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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